Figlendut Flagcepbanlap is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, dishonest crane.

Figlendut Flagcepbanlap created a Higgs boson five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Figlendut Flagcepbanlap, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Figlendut Flagcepbanlap, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Figlendut Flagcepbanlap's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Figlendut Flagcepbanlap's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate frogs.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always help snakes.