Timtabtalmeg is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, contented fairy.

Timtabtalmeg created dark matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Timtabtalmeg, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Timtabtalmeg, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Timtabtalmeg's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Timtabtalmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at galaxies.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Always treat bats with great respect.

5. Do not cook food in pots.