Hatjoprawlarp is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, dishonourable butterfly.

Hatjoprawlarp created Africa six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hatjoprawlarp, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Hatjoprawlarp, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Hatjoprawlarp's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Hatjoprawlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five tin sculptures of Hatjoprawlarp on top of important buildings.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.

4. Do not shave your feet.

5. You must pray to Hatjoprawlarp eight times a day.