Bafjamominhen is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, thoughtless walrus.

Bafjamominhen created gold four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bafjamominhen, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bafjamominhen, he will turn you into a frog.

Bafjamominhen's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Bafjamominhen's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always obey Bafjamominhen's priests.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Respect your elders.