Lakquagjat is a god.

It takes the form of a small, benevolent human.

Lakquagjat created the Sun nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Lakquagjat, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Lakquagjat, it will be very unhappy.

Lakquagjat's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Lakquagjat's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a room before entering it.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Run away from violet cats, for they are unholy.

4. Never sit near ants.

5. Never talk about fire.