Cenyattlig is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, emotional owl.

Cenyattlig created water six million years ago.

If you believe in Cenyattlig, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Cenyattlig, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Cenyattlig's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Cenyattlig's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Do not wear purple clothing.

3. Never feed limes to whales while wearing white skirts.

4. Do not skip in public.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.