Bamgudtonk is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, staggering ferret.

Bamgudtonk created the planet Earth eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamgudtonk, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bamgudtonk, he will curse you with boils.

Bamgudtonk's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Bamgudtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair orange.

2. Erect a large iron sculpture of Bamgudtonk on top of all buildings.

3. Bamgudtonk loves frogs, so they must be honoured.

4. Put Bamgudtonk first in all things.

5. Do not stand on grass.