Tettibifhiv is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, duplicitous owl.

Tettibifhiv created a photon six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tettibifhiv, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Tettibifhiv, he will turn you into a plant.

Tettibifhiv's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Tettibifhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate cats.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. You must pray to Tettibifhiv eight times a day.

5. Never feed gooseberries to squirrels while wearing blue stockings.
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