Muttikvab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, tiresome narwhal.

Muttikvab created a quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Muttikvab, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Muttikvab, he will ignore you.

Muttikvab's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Muttikvab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not hurt eagles.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.