Sandhakgessfum is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, unselfish shark.

Sandhakgessfum created an atom nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sandhakgessfum, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Sandhakgessfum, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Sandhakgessfum's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Sandhakgessfum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Sandhakgessfum's name in vain.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. You must never eat figs.

4. Never mention snails.

5. You must pray to Sandhakgessfum three times a day.