Tikyiksom is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, omniscient hamster.

Tikyiksom created a top quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tikyiksom, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tikyiksom, it will be very unhappy.

Tikyiksom's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Tikyiksom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

2. Porpoises are not to be trusted.

3. Never think about galaxies.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.