Quaghivbass is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, conceited hamster.

Quaghivbass created a top quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quaghivbass, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Quaghivbass, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Quaghivbass' most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Quaghivbass' Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear tin on your body.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Dolphins are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never hurt grasshopers.