Nurominhat is a god.

It takes the form of a large, all-knowing lizard.

Nurominhat created a strange quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurominhat, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Nurominhat, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Nurominhat's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Nurominhat's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention tortoises.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never talk about badgers.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.