Jadtentap is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, weak bear.

Jadtentap created a Higgs boson seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jadtentap, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Jadtentap, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Jadtentap's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Jadtentap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in white rooms.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Snails are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always obey Jadtentap's priests.