Montailxen is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, merciless spider.

Montailxen created everything that exists twelve years ago.

If you believe in Montailxen, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Montailxen, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Montailxen's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Montailxen's Holy Commandments

1. Always help doves.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never laugh in holy places.

5. Never write about black holes.