Dobbafcum is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, tiresome dolphin.

Dobbafcum created a top quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dobbafcum, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Dobbafcum, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Dobbafcum's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Dobbafcum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Always obey Dobbafcum's priests.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Always take life seriously.