Wadteencum is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, cheerful gerbil.

Wadteencum created tapeworms six billion years ago.

If you believe in Wadteencum, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Wadteencum, it will turn you into a duck.

Wadteencum's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Wadteencum's Holy Commandments

1. Wadteencum loves seals, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never think ill of sick nematodes.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.