Midzobbig is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, self-assured centipede.

Midzobbig created vertebrates six million years ago.

If you believe in Midzobbig, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Midzobbig, he will turn you into a plant.

Midzobbig's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Midzobbig's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about black holes.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sharks.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Midzobbig.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.