Hotwitceb is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, duplicitous lion.

Hotwitceb created gold four years ago.

If you believe in Hotwitceb, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hotwitceb, he will be very sad.

Hotwitceb's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Hotwitceb's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in holy places.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never paint your neck green.

4. Hotwitceb loves porpoises, so they must be respected.

5. Always treat squirrels with great respect.