Steryamwanarpkinquafrill is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, deceitful crab.

Steryamwanarpkinquafrill created a strange quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Steryamwanarpkinquafrill, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Steryamwanarpkinquafrill, it will send minions to preach to you.

Steryamwanarpkinquafrill's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Steryamwanarpkinquafrill's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. You must never eat strawberries.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never eat parsnips.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.