Pibortqueeg is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, omniscient giraffe.

Pibortqueeg created the world six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pibortqueeg, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Pibortqueeg, she will turn you into a hamster.

Pibortqueeg's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Pibortqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Do not wear gray clothing.

3. Always help goats.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.