Cimbadhak is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, tiresome tortoise.

Cimbadhak created the Virgo Supercluster eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cimbadhak, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cimbadhak, she will laugh at you.

Cimbadhak's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Cimbadhak's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Cimbadhak four times a day.

2. Cimbadhak must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Cimbadhak.

4. Cimbadhak loves seals, so they must be respected.

5. Always stare at clouds.