Xuckyokgab is a god.

It takes the form of a large, amazing cat.

Xuckyokgab created dark energy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Xuckyokgab, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Xuckyokgab, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Xuckyokgab's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Xuckyokgab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Xuckyokgab loves sharks, so they must be respected.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never sit in holy places.