Nurlapptaf is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, self-confident cobra.

Nurlapptaf created the Cigar Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlapptaf, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nurlapptaf, it will have a low opinion of you.

Nurlapptaf's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Nurlapptaf's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nurlapptaf.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never go into fawn rooms.

4. Feed all hungry snakes.

5. Run away if eight tapirs approach from the north.