Queeglopsawpadcatlat is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, slow rhinoceros.

Queeglopsawpadcatlat created a photon eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Queeglopsawpadcatlat, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Queeglopsawpadcatlat, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Queeglopsawpadcatlat's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Queeglopsawpadcatlat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Always help sick foxes.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not kill tortoises.