Hatsaskan is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, astonishing bear.

Hatsaskan created an atom two million years ago.

If you believe in Hatsaskan, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Hatsaskan, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Hatsaskan's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Hatsaskan's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Always help tapirs.