Govspagwiplad is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, uncaring elephant.

Govspagwiplad created the planet Mars seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Govspagwiplad, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Govspagwiplad, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Govspagwiplad's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Govspagwiplad's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never talk about cell theory.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always treat cats with great respect.

5. Do not jump in public.