Sakquimbum is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, proud slug.

Sakquimbum created the Sun four billion years ago.

If you believe in Sakquimbum, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Sakquimbum, he will turn you into a slug.

Sakquimbum's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Sakquimbum's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never mention whales.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.