Didmetyar is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, self-confident whale.

Didmetyar created matter three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Didmetyar, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Didmetyar, he will throw large rocks at you.

Didmetyar's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Didmetyar's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about moons.

2. Always help grasshopers.

3. Worship no other gods but Didmetyar.

4. Put Didmetyar first in all things.

5. Never paint your feet red.