Pitcipbaf is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, merciful whale.

Pitcipbaf created the Sombrero Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Pitcipbaf, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Pitcipbaf, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Pitcipbaf's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Pitcipbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not sing in public.

3. Never write about amino acids.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.