Cimkipvil is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, moody alligator.

Cimkipvil created gold four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cimkipvil, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cimkipvil, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Cimkipvil's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Cimkipvil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.

2. Put Cimkipvil first in all things.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Always make sure there are no mites in a building before entering it.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.