Ratjanbot is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, blissful shrew.

Ratjanbot created humanity seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ratjanbot, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Ratjanbot, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Ratjanbot's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Ratjanbot's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat doves with great respect.

2. Always help turtles.

3. Do not kill sheep.

4. Monkeys are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not wear copper on your body.