Fitpidmot is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, slow beaver.

Fitpidmot created a Higgs boson eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fitpidmot, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fitpidmot, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Fitpidmot's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Fitpidmot's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not hurt seals.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always make sure there are no swans in a room before entering it.

5. Never hurt badgers.