Yokzogzan is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, resourceful narwhal.

Yokzogzan created viruses seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Yokzogzan, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Yokzogzan, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Yokzogzan's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Yokzogzan's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Always obey Yokzogzan's priests.

3. Always help goats.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Run away if nine voles approach from the west.