Bessjenquafgubdodrot is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, uncaring dingo.

Bessjenquafgubdodrot created carbon nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bessjenquafgubdodrot, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bessjenquafgubdodrot, he will make you grow a tail.

Bessjenquafgubdodrot's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Bessjenquafgubdodrot's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never eat figs.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.