Gartamlop is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, tranquil frog.

Gartamlop created Asia seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gartamlop, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Gartamlop, she will manifest in front of you.

Gartamlop's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Gartamlop's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about voles.

2. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

3. Never think about amino acids.

4. Feed all hungry swans.

5. Never jump in holy places.