Motcutfat is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, tranquil weasel.

Motcutfat created the Cigar Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Motcutfat, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Motcutfat, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Motcutfat's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Motcutfat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

2. Hide from red snakes for they are unholy.

3. Never talk about geese.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Motcutfat.