Bapkarril is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, capable snake.

Bapkarril created a Higgs boson four years ago.

If you believe in Bapkarril, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bapkarril, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Bapkarril's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Bapkarril's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

4. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

5. Put Bapkarril first in all things.