Sittammip is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, idiotic hippopotamus.

Sittammip created Europe eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sittammip, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Sittammip, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Sittammip's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Sittammip's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear brown hats.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate gulls.

3. Do not eat gooseberries.

4. Do not shave your feet.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.