Zaknuttpop is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unsympathetic badger.

Zaknuttpop created humankind three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zaknuttpop, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zaknuttpop, she will curse you with boils.

Zaknuttpop's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Zaknuttpop's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never sit in the presence of manatees.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never mention pigs.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.