Bopjignell is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, unfair duck.

Bopjignell created Mount Everest four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bopjignell, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bopjignell, he will refuse to believe in you.

Bopjignell's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Bopjignell's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Bopjignell seven times a day.

2. Bopjignell loves seals, so they must be respected.

3. Worship no other gods but Bopjignell.

4. Do not jump in public.

5. Always wear violet.