Flantikkon is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, unfair spider.

Flantikkon created water two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flantikkon, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flantikkon, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Flantikkon's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Flantikkon's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into pink rooms.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Ants are not to be trusted.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Always help sick sheep.