Figsigsab is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, irritating manatee.

Figsigsab created the cosmos eight million years ago.

If you believe in Figsigsab, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Figsigsab, she will turn you into a rat.

Figsigsab's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Figsigsab's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if seven hamsters approach from the west.

2. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not trade with those who eat limes.

5. Do not shave your head.