Figrillrot is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, temperamental squirrel.

Figrillrot created a strange quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Figrillrot, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Figrillrot, he will turn you into a sheep.

Figrillrot's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Figrillrot's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Figrillrot nine times a day.

2. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Figrillrot on top of all buildings.

3. Never sit in holy places.

4. Never go into black rooms.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.