Yarquamsad is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, uncaring narwhal.

Yarquamsad created light eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarquamsad, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Yarquamsad, it will be very sad.

Yarquamsad's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Yarquamsad's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate nematodes.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

3. Never laugh in holy places.

4. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Never talk about amino acids.