Nurtjoptofkop is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, astonishing swan.

Nurtjoptofkop created the cosmos three billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtjoptofkop, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Nurtjoptofkop, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Nurtjoptofkop's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Nurtjoptofkop's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about galaxies.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Run away if three ducks approach from the north.

4. Nurtjoptofkop loves dolphins, so they must be respected.

5. Always pray immersed in water.