Liptargcun is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, self-assured hamster.

Liptargcun created matter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Liptargcun, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Liptargcun, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Liptargcun's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Liptargcun's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never wear pink coats.

3. You must never eat lentils.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Put Liptargcun first in all things.