Rakveenquam is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, humane cobra.

Rakveenquam created Asia nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rakveenquam, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Rakveenquam, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Rakveenquam's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Rakveenquam's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands turquoise.

2. Retreat if eight pigs approach from the south.

3. Do not shave your neck.

4. Always look after injured monkeys.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.