Xuckbugwad is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, humorless dugong.

Xuckbugwad created silver eight million years ago.

If you believe in Xuckbugwad, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Xuckbugwad, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Xuckbugwad's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Xuckbugwad's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear kilts.

2. Run away if eight goats approach from the north.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never run near snakes.

5. Always help sick seals.