Yarpjopved is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, selfish wren.

Yarpjopved created parasitic wasps six billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpjopved, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Yarpjopved, it will turn you into a duck.

Yarpjopved's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Yarpjopved's Holy Commandments

1. Put Yarpjopved first in all things.

2. Do not wear green clothing.

3. Never mention doves.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.